Up too late on a school night

This evening I've been perusing the Peace Corps Malawi blogs, trying to do a little packing research before I go. Now, I'm so excited about this trip that I may not be able to sleep even though I'm exhausted and I have to work in the morning. 


I emailed my Peace Corps address to some friends and family this evening but in case you aren't on my email list, here it is:


Jessica Underwood, PCT
Peace Corps 
PO Box 208
Lilongwe, Malawi


I've asked friends to start writing to me now so that I can receive letters a couple of weeks after I arrive. I've been studying a lot about care packages. Small envelopes will get to me quickest. Things like books, CDs, stamps, photos, and small games will be very appreciated. Larger care packages could include things like non-perishable food items or girly cosmetics. It is helpful to write the address in red and also write biblical passages/religious symbols on the outside of the packages so that they get to me mostly in tact and quickly. Please do write me when you are able!! This will be the best way to stay connected, even though it seems like at times I may be able to get internet access. 


I am certain that this is where I'm meant to be right now. I will miss everyone here so much but I am so ready for this adventure! Or, I will be after I get a few more items checked off my list. 

Don't sweat the small stuff

For those who know me, you won't be surprised to learn that I have a few fears about my upcoming Peace Corps adventure. Mostly, I have a fear of the unknown. The Peace Corps tends to give you only the information you need in the moment and what lies ahead is anyone's guess. I suppose that's really how life is anyway but I try to plan like I have some say in the matter. 

What am I worried about? That I won't pack the right things. That I won't be able to make friends with other Peace Corps trainees. That the shots will hurt or make me sick. That my host family's home will be crawling with roaches. That I'll get some weird disease. That I'll be uncomfortable on my 15+ hour flight. That I'll be lonely. That I won't be able to learn the language. And, on and on... 

But, these are the small things. 

This week, I had dinner with my good friend Amy G. One of her friend's moms has been battling cancer for over four years. Whenever Amy G. sees this woman, she always comes away remembering not to sweat the small stuff. There are so many things to worry about in this life and it is totally normal to do so but we also have to remember that life is so much bigger. These things I worry about won't matter in 5, 10, 50 or 100 years. What will matter is that I made the leap. 

Additionally, it is comforting to think that there are many other people across the county who are in the same place I am tonight. They are preparing to go to Malawi in two and a half weeks and leave their friends and family and pets. They are worrying about all the things I'm worried about. They are buying luggage and socks and shipping books. And, they will be my friends and colleagues for the next two years. I hope some of them are also getting ready to watch Glee tonight! 

Even though I have a few fears, I'm so excited about what is ahead. I've learned that remaining in the moment is the best way to appreciate life and let the worrying subside. 

True wealth is the ability to let go of possessions

I haven't left, but my journey has already begun. I submitted my Peace Corps application in August 2009 and received an invitation to serve about two weeks ago. Now, I'm headed to Malawi in just three and a half weeks! Tonight, my first blog in this series is being written from my parents' house where I have moved until I depart for my 27 months of service. 

I have learned to let go of so many things. That process has been a little difficult but also very freeing. I've kept more than I meant to, but I sold, tossed, or gave away a lot. Now, everything I own except for clothes, toiletries and a few books is tucked away in the basement. I'm so thankful for family and friends who have taken my gently used items and have helped me move. I know who my true friends are when they wake up early to help me rouse the napping guy at the dump so we can toss the mattress! 

Last week, I had a party to give away my things and one of my lovely friends gave me the quote that became the title of this post. I have been thinking about it all week and how it applies to so many areas of life. Just when I wanted to hold onto that Hello Kitty alarm clock or the sweater I wear once a year, I would remember the quote and pass the items along. 

However, there are so many things I claim as my possessions that go beyond concrete items. In my role as grants writer, I sometimes want to hold onto my writing and protect it from critique. When I let go and put my work on the table, I gain so much more. I become a better writer by letting someone else help me see where my writing can be stronger. 

Right now, I'm collaborating on a dance piece for a show on February 13th. (If interested, contact me for show info.) The collaboration can be a tightrope act at times, even though all three of us love each other. What I noticed in my last rehearsal is that when I'm willing to let go of choreography and change sections of the piece I once loved, they become even better. It always surprises me that simple changes can make a huge difference. Sometimes, I just need a different point of view. I'm sure there are more times in my life when I seek to control and possess rather than let go. The first lesson for me on this journey is learning to let go. 

Now that I'm out of the apartment, the trip is becoming even more of a reality. I'm both excited and nervous. I know there are many more learning lessons to come and I expect I will never be the same.