Lessons in Letting Go

Some days I’m not sure my father realizes how much he has influenced my life. Does any parent ever know the impact they have in their child’s life?
The morning I left for Peace Corps, I had a lovely breakfast with my parents at their home. I was full of nerves, wondering if I really had the guts to move to Malawi for two years. My mom put on a very brave face but was having difficulty with the impending goodbye. My father said the prayer over the meal. It was about how parents dread and are also proud when their child makes the decision to leave home (at any age). It was so sweet and we all barely held it together. I think we were all a little scared. I busied myself with making sure my bags were the weight limitations and that I could carry everything.

Then as we said our goodbyes at the airport, my father imparted his words of wisdom. "Stay loose."

I have always been a little nervous about everything. I am a rule-follower. Once, when I was a kid, I got mad at my father, the rule-breaker, for taking a flower off the table at a restaurant. I was worried we would get in trouble for stealing. I also took things very literally. When I helped my father with his hand of poker, he instructed me to fold. So, of course, I folded our cards in half. Further, I was way too trusting. While shopping, my father found this toy that when you push the handle in several times, a top spins until it opens like a flower. He said, put your finger in there and when it stopped spinning, it closed and pinched my finger. Hilarious. At least it was to him.

So, when I left for Africa, my dad knew that the best thing he could tell me was to stay loose. I have thought of those words often since I have been here. When some of the older volunteers took us across the most rickety, Indiana-Jones-style bridge, I thought to myself, stay loose. We made it across and back just fine, although it was quite terrifying. When I weigh the screaming babies under a tree at the Health Clinic, I often have to think to myself stay loose and none of them have fallen yet! When I came across a particularly scary and possibly poisonous centipede in my house, I think about how my dad taught me not to be scared of bugs and also to stay loose. Then I used the heaviest book I could find (the Bible – it is helpful in so many ways) to crush it.

Often, I realize that when I heed this piece of advice, I end up with some of the best experiences and stories. My father has taught me many things but maybe one of the best lessons is to let go and break the rules on occasion.

I love you Dad.
Happy Father’s Day!