- Simone Weil
Lately, I have been watching a lot of romantic comedies with my Malawian neighbor. The guy and girl meet just by chance on a street corner in New York and usually after some light verbal sparring, they fall madly in love. But after the movie ended last night I had to say my typical, jaded girl line: “That was a good movie but it would never happen like that in real life.” And to that, my sweet neighbor replied, “I think it really can happen.” Now, I can’t stop thinking about what the word love means. How do you know when you are in love? How can a word that is so powerful also be so insignificant?
I went searching in the dictionary. It says love is deep affection and warm feeling; a zero score in tennis; to like or desire enthusiastically; enamored.
That wasn’t terribly enlightening so I thought about the things I love. I love my animals – both here and stateside. I want them to stop being stupid and not give me fleas (my newest anxiety) and they provide me with companionship and are an endless source of laughter and stories. In exchange, I give them food and a place to sleep and protect them as much as possible.
I love sushi. Those beautiful little pieces of raw fish and vegetables that look like a present waiting to be devoured. Despite what my Grandma thinks, they are so delicious. This will definitely be one of my first meals when I get back to the States.
I love dance. It makes me think, is always a challenge, and has been a way for me to express myself throughout my life.
Still, I’m not sure this helps me understand what love means. If anything, I might be more confused. Here in Malawi, the word for “to love” is kukonda. The catch is that kukonda means both love and like. Many boys who I’ve never met before have yelled at me from the side of the road as I ride by on my bike, “I love you.” It makes me laugh every time.
But I’m dodging the main point. So, here is the real question. Do I love Malawi? Is it too soon to have such a strong relationship with this country that I have only known for three months? I have never been one to hold back when it comes to falling in love and I wonder if that could be true again.
First, Malawi is a constant challenge for me and makes me think about culture in a new and different way. Sure, we might have our share of disagreements, like when I walked outside to find that cows had pushed over my fence and were standing in my backyard. But despite the minor difficulties we are growing stronger together.
Secondly, this country is a constant source of surprise. When I walked into the Limbe Market the other day, I gasped at all the fresh produce available so close to my site and my ability to negotiate the prices with various vendors. I could not get enough. There were avocados, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, onions, and pineapple overflowing from my basket. I’m told I looked like the Chiquita Banana woman as I walked back to the bus with my basket of fruit on my head.
Additionally, Malawi is a constant source of stories and laughter for me. And everyone knows that a good sense of humor is an essential component to the perfect relationship. I took a matola home from the Boma the other day and got to ride in the front with two men – the driver and the owner of the truck. The driver kept saying things in Chichewa that I didn’t understand and look at me to agree with him. I would say eyah (yes) and all three of us would laugh. It was a hilarious ride home! I have never been so funny in all my life.
I love the sunsets, Obama chitenjes (realistic and cartoon versions), the double waves, and the monkey who rides the cat! But, maybe the thing that I love most is the people I get to interact with on a daily basis. My ever-optimistic neighbor, my colleagues at the Health Clinic, the children who make me laugh, the girls who come to play/torture my puppy, my friend at the market, the old ladies at the borehole. They are the reason this place is so wonderful.
Maybe I will never be able to fully understand what the word love means because it is a feeling that is beyond definition. Its true that I will always be loyal and in love with Kentucky but I think I have room in my heart for loving more than one place at a time.
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