Truth or Dare

I can't believe that tomorrow is the day. I have packed and re-packed and stressed and obsessed and I think I'm done. It has been a wonderful week. I have had so many amazingly fun experiences. My bff was in town for a few days and I am so glad she was able to come. Sunday night was incredible. We visited all our favorite Louisville spots and had some truly lovely company. You just can't plan a night like that. I have captured so many mental pictures that will help ease my sadness about not seeing my friends and family for the next two years. 

Yes, there was a mean game of truth or dare! 

And, my new adventure seems to relate to truth or dare in some ways. It is like one long dare and I've challenged myself to give it a shot. I'm probably going to eat some weird things and will certainly be pushed out of my comfort zone. And, I have to approach the entire experience with an open and honest heart. 

I am nervous but I'm looking forward to meeting new friends tomorrow. I can't wait to see the African landscape. And elephants. And night cats!!!

I am stepping into the next phase of my life but I am taking so many tools and gifts with me. I am so grateful for all the loving support I have received. I even had a surprise gift the other day. As I was cleaning out the car I found an ipod shuffle. It had been Erika's and in the past year and a half that I've had the car, I had never seen it. It is full of music that she played in the coffee shop! It feels like a gentle nudge from her spirit. I am headed in the right direction. 

I accept the dare. 

Packing for Malawi

As promised, I wanted to give an idea of what I'm planning to pack for Malawi. It has been very useful to see what other people list, so I thought this might be useful to someone else at some point. This is getting very close to being the final version unless I end up paring down due to lack of room.

Clothes:

• 4-6 long skirts
• leggings for biking
• 1 nice work outfit (warm for pre-service orientation in Philly)
• 1 going-out outfit
• a few collared shirts (required at training)
• sweatshirt
• tank tops 
• lots of undies
• jacket, windbreaker jacket
• ankle socks
• slips
• 2 regular bras and 3 sports bras
• hiking boots (cute new ones!!)
• tennis shoes
• dress flats
• flip flops
• swim suit
• PJ's
• 1 pair jeans

Toiletries 

• shampoo
• nice smelling bar soap
• face wash & face towelettes 
• bare minerals makeup 
• Hairspray/Gel
• Deodorant
• Sunscreen/Aloe
• razors
• hair cutting scissors 
• OBs (enough for 3 months)
• hand sanitizer 
• Advil
• Zyrtec
• Vitamins 
• small jewelry 

Entertainment/Work 

• laptop
• flash drive
• discman with headphones & speaker
• CDs
• notebook
• playing cards & uno
• stationary & stamps
• several great books (including my all time favorite - Meridian) 
• notecards & highlighter for language learning 
• travel watercolor set, paper, brush and colored pencils
• camera
• seeds
• travel purse 
• photos
• stuffed animal

Tools, Etc

• headlamp (I found a pink one!)
• sleeping bag and sleep sack
• towel & washcloth
• kitchen knife
• peeler
• can opener
• leatherman
• wrinkle release spray
• water bottle
• teago
• converters
• sewing kit
• ziplocks
• rechargeable batteries
• umbrella
• camping plate, cup & utensils 

Other

• host gift (Louisville towels and bouncy balls for the kids)

What we are meant to know will come to our knowledge without any action on our part.

Today has been such a wonderful day. The sun was brilliant and I was able to spend a lot of time enjoying the beauty of this city and lingering a few extra moments with good friends. 

I said my first farewell last night to Amber. We have spent so much time together over the past few months, creating our dance piece, Re:Union which premiered last night. The timing of our collaboration was perfect. Now we are all going in different, life-changing directions but we remain connected. The bond of dance is strong so I know we'll continue to be a part of each others journeys. It isn't easy to say goodbye. The words are difficult and the emotions are strong and mixed with feelings of sadness and excitement. Kind of like my part in Re:Union, Joy & Sorrow from The Prophet. You cannot know one without the other. 

This week will be full of visits with friends and family. I'm looking forward to these moments because they tend to be filled with robust and honest conversations. It will be my last week at work and while it will be difficult to leave CWF, I know it is time for me to move on and for others to pursue their new paths there. I will never forget my time at CWF. It has been four and a half years filled with learning, challenges, and many personal and professional successes. 

Leaving is also difficult for me because I have such limited knowledge about what I am walking into. I like to have a plan and as my brother said tonight, ten contingency plans as well. I must say that I have been quite obsessed with packing for this trip over the past week. It might be that this is one thing I can control at the moment, so I'm overdoing it with the packing planning. I know I won't do it perfectly but I am doing it the best way I can. (Sometime before I leave, I will post my packing list since I've found others' lists so helpful.) 

For me, this experience is a lesson in accepting the unknown. Today, our yoga instructor spoke of letting go, and knowing that if we are confident in our path, our destiny will occur without any effort. 

Up too late on a school night

This evening I've been perusing the Peace Corps Malawi blogs, trying to do a little packing research before I go. Now, I'm so excited about this trip that I may not be able to sleep even though I'm exhausted and I have to work in the morning. 


I emailed my Peace Corps address to some friends and family this evening but in case you aren't on my email list, here it is:


Jessica Underwood, PCT
Peace Corps 
PO Box 208
Lilongwe, Malawi


I've asked friends to start writing to me now so that I can receive letters a couple of weeks after I arrive. I've been studying a lot about care packages. Small envelopes will get to me quickest. Things like books, CDs, stamps, photos, and small games will be very appreciated. Larger care packages could include things like non-perishable food items or girly cosmetics. It is helpful to write the address in red and also write biblical passages/religious symbols on the outside of the packages so that they get to me mostly in tact and quickly. Please do write me when you are able!! This will be the best way to stay connected, even though it seems like at times I may be able to get internet access. 


I am certain that this is where I'm meant to be right now. I will miss everyone here so much but I am so ready for this adventure! Or, I will be after I get a few more items checked off my list. 

Don't sweat the small stuff

For those who know me, you won't be surprised to learn that I have a few fears about my upcoming Peace Corps adventure. Mostly, I have a fear of the unknown. The Peace Corps tends to give you only the information you need in the moment and what lies ahead is anyone's guess. I suppose that's really how life is anyway but I try to plan like I have some say in the matter. 

What am I worried about? That I won't pack the right things. That I won't be able to make friends with other Peace Corps trainees. That the shots will hurt or make me sick. That my host family's home will be crawling with roaches. That I'll get some weird disease. That I'll be uncomfortable on my 15+ hour flight. That I'll be lonely. That I won't be able to learn the language. And, on and on... 

But, these are the small things. 

This week, I had dinner with my good friend Amy G. One of her friend's moms has been battling cancer for over four years. Whenever Amy G. sees this woman, she always comes away remembering not to sweat the small stuff. There are so many things to worry about in this life and it is totally normal to do so but we also have to remember that life is so much bigger. These things I worry about won't matter in 5, 10, 50 or 100 years. What will matter is that I made the leap. 

Additionally, it is comforting to think that there are many other people across the county who are in the same place I am tonight. They are preparing to go to Malawi in two and a half weeks and leave their friends and family and pets. They are worrying about all the things I'm worried about. They are buying luggage and socks and shipping books. And, they will be my friends and colleagues for the next two years. I hope some of them are also getting ready to watch Glee tonight! 

Even though I have a few fears, I'm so excited about what is ahead. I've learned that remaining in the moment is the best way to appreciate life and let the worrying subside.