Tomorrow I'll be on a plane to America. I've now been in Malawi for ten months and it has been almost a year since I learned I was coming to Africa, so I thought it might be a good time to reflect on the year. People often ask of my motivation for joining Peace Corps and coming to Africa. I came because I wanted to experience living outside of Louisville and learn about a different culture; I wanted to have the possibility of better job offers post-PC; and I was excited to learn about the world of development. I came to help but I must admit that many of my PC goals were selfish. When I speak with other volunteers they expected their two years to be spent "finding themselves" by living in the village without running water or elecrticity. They pictured doing things like reading lots of books and meditating. For some reason, this didn't really play into my ideal PC dream. I was okay with the thought of not having the amenities of a four-star hotel but it certainly didn't excite me.
Now, after ten months of living in Malawi, I must say that my experience includes some of these original ideas but often lies somewhere along the borders. I came here thinking I knew myself well, but since I have been here, I have gotten to know new things about myself that I'd never expect. For instance, I now know I can live among gigantic, mean looking spiders that crawl ridiculously fast. I know I can cook a nice mexican meal, from scratch, over a fire. I know I can carry my weight in gifts and clothes across a city while sick and not pass out.
I have also learned the difficulties of living with the people you are trying to help. I've gotten to know people who can directly benefit from my presence which makes the possibility of failure much more devestating and the possibility of sucess even sweeter. It can be difficult to be the only white person in a village. Most people in my village now understand that I am only a volunteer and don't have an endless supply of money to hand out but I did have no less than three requests for video cameras when my friends learned I was going to America. Still, I greatly appreciate that we are able to live in the village where we get to learn firsthand about the issues villagers face and try to work together to solve these problems.
I'm not sure Peace Corps or Malawi was what I expected but I am still incredibly grateful that I am here. Each day is filled with challenges. For example, every morning I have to try to discern whether I am listening to a screaming child or a goat outside my window. And, each day is full of rewards like being hugged by my water woman when I return from a trip. At one point, I thought I might not go when Peace Corps sent the invitiation. I would have regretted that decision for the rest of my life. As I prepare to see America again, I realize that I have changed and in ways that I probably don't even realize. Stay posted for updates about what America is like after ten months in Malawi.
