I promised a second entry in the Home for the Holiday Series; a post-America blog to let you know what I discovered while home. It turns out that what I learned was a little more nebulous than I expected. Sure, I’ve learned things like increased patience and flexibility and those things were even more evident in the context of America.
But, then again, it is much easier to be patient and flexible in a world where everything is available 24 hours-a-day. For instance, my computer completely shut down within a day of being in America. I’m sure this had been coming for some time. It was an old computer, a macbook that I loved dearly and held onto for as long as possible. Africa is not kind to electronics though and the heat of Chikhwawa took its toll on this now-obsolete computer. What was a little surprising to me was my reaction to this discovery. I was hardly upset that my computer died. Of course, it was inconvenient but in America there would be a solution. If it had stopped working while I was in Malawi, the situation would have been much more difficult and I inevitably would have been quite upset.
The convenience of America was a welcome luxury. It was such a treat to eat enchiladas, drink margaritas, and make my own desert in a New York ice cream shop. It felt great to get my hair cut by a professional and to get a massage (Wow!). I enjoyed going on a real date and being picked up, taken to dinner and enjoying conversation with only a few infrequent interruptions by the waiter.
These are things that I don’t get to experience in Malawi and most of the time I barely notice that I miss them. It has been almost 11 months since I arrived. Malawi is no longer new to me. I am comfortable living in my house in the village where I cook over a fire, use a pit latrine and shoo goats from my garden. But sometimes, I’m not comfortable being myself in Malawi or maybe I struggle to figure out who I am in the context of Malawi. In America, it is easier because even when I display strange behavior, it is easy to blend in. This means I can just be myself most of the time, especially since I have wonderfully strange friends. I don’t have to worry that when I meditate someone will think it’s weird. When I go to my door in America, I don’t have to search my house for a piece of cloth to cover my exercise pants in case they offend whoever is at the door.
Maybe what I’m trying to say is that we all want to be liked in the community in which we live. We inherently want to fit in so that we have friends and people in our lives that we can rely on. For me, in America, I am lucky to experience this in abundance. My family and friends are amazing people and it was extremely difficult to leave them. However, even though I don’t necessarily fit in all the time in my village, I still know I have people whom I can rely on here. Settling back in for another 16 months in Malawi wasn’t easy but I’m excited for what’s ahead. Daily, I miss those I’ve left at home but I know I have more to learn and do here. I’m excited to forge ahead and discover new things about myself in Malawi. Takalandirani 2012! Tiyeni. Welcome 2012! Let’s Go.
